day 7 - Dollywood or bust

we almost didn’t come.

I thought it might be cheesy. it was definitely expensive. and it’s closed on tuesdays, which was the day we wanted to come. we had a meeting about a month ago and decided not to. it just didn’t seem necessary. but by the end of the meeting something made me change my mind.
I’m so glad. but I don’t know why.

there wasn’t a specific moment. no one thing I can hang it on. my traveling companions are throwing out suggestions from the front seat. I’ll spare you. you’ll thank me. but it was easy. it was sunny. it was very clean. and we laughed. all day.

we started by running through a kiddie water fountain to the great bemusement of some of the staff standing around. we ended eating corn dogs and funnel cakes which have seriously complicated our drive this evening. in between we rode some of the best roller coasters I’ve ever been on (which is saying a lot) and saw one of the strangest stage/movie shows I have ever seen. which included being sprayed with water. twice.

and we somehow managed to break into the only restaurant in the park that was closed to the public. I’m still not sure how it happened, but after searching the ‘country fair’ section of the park for 20 minutes we finally found the barbecue pavilion, and burst in triumphantly to find ourselves the highlight of someone’s power point presentation. I think it was some kind of security training. safe to say they hadn’t reached the slide on how to deal with hungry and confused lesbians.

there was a museum about dolly which was slightly unsatisfying and left us wanting more information. we were all disturbed to find that the souvenir shops not only didn’t carry her autobiography, but no books at all except cookbooks. especially surprising since dolly is such an advocate for getting kids to read. and we spent a fair amount of time watching the bald eagles, admiring the beautiful aviary but wondering about the symbol of our freedom begin trapped in any kind of cage.

the title track of dolly’s latest disc is about being judged by your looks and misunderstood. walking through her theme park I couldn’t help smiling at how appropriate she should be added to the soundtrack of our journey. our journey with gender, with identity, with class and with food. she’s taught us something.

that doesn’t mean I recommend you eat the whole funnel cake just because you can.